Friday, September 25, 2009
Saturday, September 19, 2009
I am of course talking about International (that's right, we see no borders when it comes to celebrating this holiday) Talk Like a Pirate Day. So to help you talk like a pirate I have stolen this list of terms you may or may not be aware of to help increase your pirate vocabulary. First off is the basics:
Ahoy! - "Hello!"
Avast! - Stop and give attention. It can be used in a sense of surprise, "Whoa! Get a load of that!" which today makes it more of a "Check it out" or "No way!" or "Get off!"
Aye! - "Why yes, I agree most heartily with everything you just said or did."
Aye aye! - "I'll get right on that sir, as soon as my break is over."
Arrr! - This one is often confused with arrrgh, which is of course the sound you make when you sit on a belaying pin. "Arrr!" can mean, variously, "yes," "I agree," "I'm happy," "I'm enjoying this beer," "My team is going to win it all," "I saw that television show, it sucked!" and "That was a clever remark you or I just made." And those are just a few of the myriad possibilities of Arrr!
Once you've mastered the basics, you're ready to start expanding your pirate vocabulary. Try these for starters:
Beauty – The best possible pirate address for a woman. Always preceded by “me,” as in, “C’mere, me beauty,” or even, “me buxom beauty,” to one particularly well endowed. You’ll be surprised how effective this is.
Bilge rat – The bilge is the lowest level of the ship. It’s loaded with ballast and slimy, reeking water. A bilge rat, then, is a rat that lives in the worst place on the ship. On TLAP Day – A lot of guy humor involves insulting your buddies to prove your friendship. It’s important that everyone understand you are smarter, more powerful and much luckier with the wenches than they are. Since bilge rat is a pretty dirty thing to call someone, by all means use it on your friends.
Bung hole – Victuals on a ship were stored in wooden casks. The stopper in the barrel is called the bung, and the hole is called the bung hole. That’s all. It sounds a lot worse, doesn’t it? On TLAP Day – When dinner is served you’ll make quite an impression when you say, “Well, me hearties, let’s see what crawled out of the bung hole.” That statement will be instantly followed by the sound of people putting down their utensils and pushing themselves away from the table. Great! More for you!
Grog – An alcoholic drink, usually rum diluted with water, but in this context you could use it to refer to any alcoholic beverage other than beer, and we aren’t prepared to be picky about that, either. Call your beer grog if you want. We won’t stop you! Water aboard ship was stored for long periods in slimy wooden barrels, so you can see why rum was added to each sailor’s water ration – to kill the rancid taste. On TLAP Day – Drink up, me hearties! And call whatever you’re drinking grog if you want to. If some prissy pedant purses his lips and protests the word grog can only be used if drinking rum and water, not the Singapore Sling you’re holding, keelhaul him!
Hornpipe – Both a single-reeded musical instrument sailors often had aboard ship, and a spirited dance that sailors do.
Lubber – (or land lubber) This is the seaman’s version of land lover, mangled by typical pirate disregard for elocution. A lubber is someone who does not go to sea, who stays on the land. On TLAP Day – More likely than not, you are a lubber 364 days of the year. But not if you’re talking like a pirate! Then the word lubber becomes one of the more fierce weapons in your arsenal of piratical lingo. In a room where everyone is talking like pirates, lubber is ALWAYS an insult.
Smartly – Do something quickly. On TLAP Day – “Smartly, me lass,” you might say when sending the bar maid off for another round. She will be so impressed she might well spit in your beer.
So to all my Brethren of the Coast, here's to hoping today be not the day we dance with Jack Ketch! And to all you land lubbers, talk like a pirate or walk the plank!
Friday, September 18, 2009
And then all that changed.
Our senior year we were both assigned to be secretaries for our high schools Acappella choir. We spent a lot of time sitting in the choir office, making seating charts, giving grades, and keeping track of all of the 160+ students in the class. We realized we should have been friends all along and here is a short list of some of the reasons why we were destined to be friends:
- We are pretty much the same person. Pretty much.
- We had the same nicname. They were spelled different, but had the same effect. Flem and Phlegm.
- We both love Pirates. She loves them so much she decided to be born on Talk Like a Pirate Day!
- We both love making lists.
- People have been calling me Emily accidentally my whole life. Even before we found each other and even if they don't know we are pretty much the same person!
- We would unknowingly buy all the same style of clothes and accidentally wear them the same day. Except for yearbook signing day and graduation when we planned to wear the same thing so that we would be the same in all our pictures.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
You just sew the bags to the hot pad and then you sew a button on the front of the hot pad so you can link the loop around it.
Brad wants one for his car but he wants me to find a hot pad with a superhero on it... I think I may just have to sew some superhero fabric over a hot pad.
I am also an activity day leader in my ward and I think I'm going to make these with the girls.